Archive for October 26, 2009

You know, I been thinkin about a certain Houshmanzadeh lately. He jumped shipped and moved back West in search of mo cake and a change of scenery.

I hope that money is making you feel better because you won’t get many wins, b. The C-Hawks are turrible (No Barkley) and show no signs of getting better. They are just slightly better than bad.

It’s time to give this phenomenon a term, let’s call it Kemp-itis. You remember Reignman right? Was the 48-inch vertical leaping forward for the SuperSonics, played with the Glove, and went to the Finals. What does he do? Go to Cleveland (pre-LeBron) for more money and promptly becomes a forgotten man. This is what I worry about happening to Housh.

Imagine being Housh, everytime you turn on the TV. What do you see but the Bengals are doing better without YOU? Ain’t that a b***h! Maybe Ocho Cinco never needed you but you needed Ocho Cinco. Even rejected former Bears first round pick Cedric Benson is playing like he’s one year away from a prison bid and this is his only way to freedom. Benson works so hard we might want to start calling him Kunta. The D is tightening up like a fat man in a small suit. ALL THIS WITHOUT YOU! That’s worth a call to your 24-hour, always-on-call shrink right there. Not even a new Bentley (sittin on Tim Duncans!)[1] could make that feeling go away.

It’s really Housh’s fault. You chose Matt Hassleback over Carson Palmer? You must get some of that good smoke up there to leave a proven QB like Palmer.

Just say you wanted to be near your family and we’ll buy that.

[1] Name the artist.

Parity: 1999-2009

Posted: October 26, 2009 in NFL

It’s official NFL parity is OVER!  It was certainly fun while it lasted.  For 10 years, you had hope that you could go from worst to first…or prayed you didn’t go from first to worst.  It’s all over.  A hierarchy is slowly settling in.  Stank-0 been working on this in his head.  It shakes out something like this. 

ELITE:  Steelers, Colts, Saints, Patriots
These teams are clearly the class of the NFL.  Notice there is only one NFC team, there would have been two but the Giants got decapitated last night.  Also notice that record has nothing to do with being an elite team. 

The Steels beat the Vikes, a next tier team.  The Saints had to mount a furious comeback against the Miami Wildcats.  The Colts and Pats humbled their opponents. 

At the other extreme.

HORRIBLE: Rams, Chiefs, Bucs, Browns, Titans
How bad are they?  The only team with a win in this group is the Chiefs. 
Everyone else is in between, either a rung below elite or a rung above horrible. 

NEXT LEVEL:  Broncos, Giants, Bengals, Bears, Ravens, Dolphins, Eagles, Cardinals, Chargers, Cowboys, Falcons, etc.
These are all teams that will usually beat the teams below them, will be hit or miss against those in this group, and have a tough time against the elite.  They have to stay focused when not playing Next Level or Elite because they could mess around and lose, i.e.  the Raiders stunner against the Eagles. 

BETTER THAN BAD: 49ers, Seahawks, Jets, Bills, Raiders, Texans, Redskins, Panthers, etc.
They can be counted on to beat the horrible teams, but everything else is a toss up.  Here’s where the Any given Sunday mantra is chanted the most. They can mess around to steal one, i.e. the Jets win against the Patriots. 

A recap:  in descending order

Next Level
Better than Bad

That’s straight forward.  Where do you think your team is?  Can you make an argument for another NFC team in the Elite group?  Maybe you can convince Stank-0.

Let’s play ball

Posted: October 26, 2009 in MLB, World Series

Finally the Yankees have dispatched the Angels to advance to the World Series to face a well rested Phillies team.  Stank-0 had a feeling they would close out at home.

A-Rod has finally been playing some ball during the PLAYOFFS!  Keep it up and you have can have some hardware that is a bit more blingy than your MVP trophies.  Speaking of which, isn’t Rodriguez pretty much a lock to get another MVP?  At some point it will be called the Rodriguez MVP trophy he has so many.

To the Angels, take comfort in the fact that you were punching above your weight and prolly shouldn’t have beaten the BoSox like a drum to get this far.

So dear readers, who you got and in how many games.  Right here and now, 6 games…NEW YORK YANKEES!

Phillies got rings, so that hunger isn’t there.  Yanks’ last ring is about 10 years ago…they been bleeding, sweatin, and dyin to get back here.